I don’t know if rape jokes encourage rape culture. I don’t care. You still shouldn’t tell them.
Statistically, if you have told a rape joke to a group of more than five people, one of the people you told it to was a rape survivor, possibly of multiple rapes. They will not necessarily disclose this to you; rape apologism is endemic in society and most rape survivors are cautious about whom they tell. Some may even be too ashamed of their rape to admit it to anyone, or because of rape-minimizing narratives like “men can’t be raped” and “I consented to oral, so I couldn’t have been raped” may not admit it even to themselves. The fact remains: if you’ve told dozens of rape jokes in your life, then you have almost certainly told a joke that minimizes or trivializes rape in front of a survivor.
And if you put as your Facebook status “I totally raped at Halo today” for your two hundred Facebook friends to see, statistically, you have just reminded thirty-three people of one of the worst experiences of their entire lives.
To describe how well you did at a video game.
There aren’t many things that really push my buttons but rape jokes is one of them. I feel so strongly about this that I will either walk away or rake the teller over the coals. Mostly, you can joke about absolutely anything with me.. if you are clever and funny… but not this. Oh and not pedophilia.. which is just another form of rape. Oh and not child abuse of any kind.. also a form of non sexual rape. (myvonne)
“If you spend any amount of time doing media analysis, it’s clear that the most frenzied moral panic surrounding young women’s sexuality comes from the mainstream media, which loves to report about how promiscuous girls are, whether they’re acting up on spring break, getting caught topless on camera, or catching all kinds of STIs. Unsurprisingly, these types of articles and stories generally fail to mention that women are attending college at the highest rates in history, and that we’re the majority of undergraduate and master’s students. Well-educated and socially engaged women just don’t make for good headlines, it seems.”
— Jessica Valenti—The Purity Myth: How America’s Obsession With Virginity is Hurting Young Women (via hitmeagaintubesock)
I find it interesting that America is obsessed with virginity. Most of what I see online and from television and movies is the opposite. I also see nothing wrong with being a virgin and waiting for sex. There is a very real emotional connection that sexual intimacy creates.
Personally, though, perhaps the lens should be focused on the male gender, since it is them that initiates — or worse, forces — sex a great majority of the time. Instead men and boys are still, to this day, praised for their sexual exploits, never mind the STIs and the emotional damage and the risk of unwanted pregnancy.