Snyder Than You

Why I am, who I think, maybe how I'm at, sometimes when, and possibly a vague what.
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Posts tagged "marriage"
  • Kurt Braunohler: I do have a theory now that if I do get married in the future, what I think I would want to do is have an agreement that, at the end of seven years, we have to get remarried in order for the marriage to continue. But at the end of seven years, it ends. And we can agree to get remarried or not get remarried.
  • Ira Glass: Why?
  • KB: Because then I think you get to choose. And I think it would make the relationship stronger.
  • IG: ...I think actually one of the things that’s a comfort in marriage is that there isn’t a door at seven years, and so if something is messed up, in the short term, there’s a comfort of knowing, ‘well we made this commitment, so we’re just going to work this out. And even if tonight we’re not getting along, or there’s something between us that doesn’t feel right, you have the comfort of knowing, we’ve got time, we’re going to figure this out’. And that makes it so much easier. Because you do go through times where you hate each other’s guts, and the no escape clause, weirdly, is a bigger comfort to being married than I ever would have thought before I got married.
Destructive to marriage is the self-fulfillment ethic that assumes marriage and the family are primarily institutions of personal fulfillment, necessary for us to become “whole” and happy. The assumption is that there is someone just right for us to marry and that if we look closely enough we will find the right person. This moral assumption overlooks a crucial aspect to marriage. It fails to appreciate the fact that we always marry the wrong person.
Duke University Ethics professor Stanley Hauerwas