Snyder Than You

chaplinnn:

kungfucarrie:

columbusiscapital:

I feel like Columbus doesn’t really have a great catch phrase, like “I Love New York” or “The Windy City” or “Cleveland: At Least It’s Not Detroit”. I would like to purpose a few ideas of my own.

Columbus: Come for the clouds, stay for the rain!

Columbus: Experience all four seasons in a day!

Columbus: Our highways are America’s greatest obstacle course!

Columbus: Where two inches of snow is a level-4 emergency!

Columbus: The Football of It All.

Columbus: Everything is Buckeyes and Nothing Hurt.

Columbus: Where Sunshine Goes to Die.

Columbus: What’s a parking garage?

Columbus: America’s Gayest City. Almost.

Columbus: No, we can’t get you Urban Meyer’s number.

Columbus: Six hours from where you want to be.

Columbus: America’s Retail Guinea Pig.

Columbus: Come for the fun, stay because you’re stuck in traffic.

Columbus: Where No One Really Cares About Pro Sports.

Some of these are painfully accurate

Columbus: At Least There Are No Tourists!

Having lived in Columbus for four better years of my adult life, I can totally relate. Sadly, I cannot let this go without nagging about the type of “purpose” instead of “propose” above.

Also, being me, I have to add that Columbus itself has no tourists yet is all tourists, as they’re all clogging up the two-lane roads in Amish Country.

And now, kind of an alteration of one above…

Columbus: Where the speed limit is 30 whenever it rains or snows at all. And we drive 25.”